NY State of Never Mind

Governor Race Trades Fresh
Ideas for Predictable Outcome

The race for governor of New York may unofficially be between Democrat Andrew Cuomo, the state’s Attorney General, and Buffalo real estate developer Carl Paladino. But for the equally willing five other candidates, the position is a perfect fit to no one but them.
Anti-Prohibition’s Kristin Davis and Rent is Too Damn High’s Jimmy McMillan, in special, really seem to live up to their self-assigned billing. No offense but Green Party’s Howie Hawkins, Libertarian Warren Redlich and Freedom Party’s Charles Barron just lack that certain je nes sais quoi quality these two have plenty of.
Remember Ms. Davis (no, not that Kristin Davis)? This one is the madam convicted for providing “Client #9,”aka former Gov. Eliot Spitzer, with a G-string of sex professionals that ultimately caused his political crash and burn. As a motto, she’d take a pair of handcuffs upstate to teach a thing or two to any nasty lawbreaker – and quite possibly, any naughty lawmaker too. After all, well, you know.
– “Most politicians wait until they get elected to get indicted. I’m saving voters time and money.
And McMillan is the long time serial candidate who’s vowed to employ his lethal Karate skills to deal with the intricacies of Albany politics. At Monday night’s governor race debate, he also sported a pair of menacing black gloves, which he explained had something to do with his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. Whatever.
– “If you can’t stand the heat, watch out. Jimmy McMillan is stepping into this kitchen.
Before taking this any further, a friendly aside: they’d both benefit from consulting with Paladino, whose vow to use a baseball bat as a corrective for the state legislature malaise almost sank his campaign before his considerable wealth could manage to float it. Apparently upstate politics dislikes with a passion any threat of physical action, be it for signing bills to help New York City or just to appear tough to voters. For more on that see Spitzer, Eliot.
It’s no small measure of the state of our well state politics then that Davis and McMillan are running on issues many a self-appointed progressive won’t touch with a 20ft pole. For can you imagine Cuomo or Paladino vowing to legalize marijuana, prostitution and same-sex marriage (Davis), and to impose rent freezes and reduce property taxes (McMillan)?

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