My Wife Is a Dog

Man Marries His Pet;
Activists Smell a Rat

Honey, a five-year old labrador, is a wonderful dog. She’s beautiful, she’s alert and she’s evidently well tended to. The only thing is, her human companion is a certified nut and decided to marry her.
Just like that. The other day, he took her to a park in Australia and declared his undying but utterly disturbing love to her in front of 30 of his closest friends. They mostly laughed.
But the “ceremony” didn’t amuse animal groups one little bit. And it didn’t help that he assured everyone present that their relationship is not sexual, just a way to celebrate their bond.
It’d really be dandy if she had a saying in the matter, of course. It’s not that some can’t take a joke, but the fact that he felt the need to make that statement gives anyone the creeps.
Worse, some news organizations, thinking that they too had to add their own unease spin to the coverage, came up with this dog pearl of a headline: “Perfectly Normal-Looking Guy Marries His Dog.”
Given that, it’s better that Honey has no idea what’s going on. It’s bad enough that some people did marry the Eiffel Tower, the Berlin Wall or their own body pillow. But please, leave your pet out of it.

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