Singing Suns

Music from Another
Quadrant of the Sky

First, it was the sun. A few months ago, scientists at the University of Sheffield, U.K., recorded for the fist time the sound produced by its outer layers. It was a gentle, strange harmony, not likely to be recorded by Lady Gaga anytime soon, but almost as fascinating as her choice of outfits. Now, they found Gemma, a very distant star twice the size of our sun, which also emits its own brand of haunting chord progressions.
You may imagine these two flaming giants harmonizing from extreme opposite sides of the universe until their combined song brings them both to the center of our galaxy for some intergalactic pop tango or hot hip hop. But those dedicated geniuses of the north of England had to come up with a lot of err, arrangements first, in order for us to actual hear such stellar reveries.
With the sun, they ‘translated’ visible magnetic field vibrations into noises and sped it up to a frequency audible to the human ear. With Gemma, they measured the changes in the brightness of light and reconstructed the sound it produced. It’s a painstakenly process but perfectly logical, if you are one of earth’s top astronomers. In other words, since they’re the Chevy Chases here and you’re definitely not, just relax and enjoy it, man.
Of course, conspiracy theories are already abuzz on the Internet. To some, the solar sound was manufactured in some secret lab in Wisconsin, and contain hidden messages of world domination to subliminarly be beamed to the Arab world. To others, it’s all another plot to divert the earthlings’ attention to the fate of their own planet. Wait a minute, that one kinda make sense…
Still, they’re awfully therapeutic. We hear they’ve been used along with medical marijuana in advanced cases of catatonia, serial past lives recollection and fear of candy wrappers. Hey, whatever lifts your rocket, man.

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