Wild Corpses

Dead Mass Murderers
Shouldn’t Smoke Weed

After so many years of madness, there’s a growing consensus that we definitely lost the drug war. And a lot of people who only those smoking something really bad would ever associate with the multibillion dollar business of drug trafficking and the failed laws designed to prevent it, have now joined the public debate.
A recent article by former Fed Chairman Paul Volker and former U.S. Secretary of State George Shultz, just to mention two distinguished public figures known for moderate views on government policies, defends a honest, open public debate over drug decriminalization. Which is good news for drug advocates and, specially, activists for medical marijuana.
At the same time, disturbing news connecting pot to dead homicidal leaders also came to light, almost as if it’s a desperate attempt to derail the debate yet once again, even though the rationale behind it, if there’s one, completely eludes us.
Last May, just a few weeks after the U.S. raid that killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, a bunch of wild cannabis plants were found growing right outside the walls of his compound. It was a truly surprising finding (which, naturally, didn’t provoke much enthusiasm among the global drug community).
While many in law enforcement jumped at the opportunity of connecting pot to the bloody legacy of bin Laden, calling him a stoner, there was a momentary sense of puzzlement, since the so-called “gateway drug” is usually linked to lethargy, aloofness, dry mouths and craving for sweets, but rarely to impulses toward slaughtering people.
The issue was put to sleep when some well-balanced minds observed that it’s not uncommon for wild cannabis to grow in those lands. Which are also fertile for the production of poppy flowers, too, but that’s another trip (and neighbor Afghanistan, not Pakistan, is the country that controls that corner of the business.)
Then, another piece of apoplectic news came about, eerily parallel to that May affair: last week, cannabis plants were also found growing in the luxurious retreat Chile’s former dictator (and a certified mass murderer himself) Augusto Pinochet. In fact, he liked the place so much his ashes are there too.
We give you a moment, so you can spell out W.T.F. among yourselves.
There’s one last piece of this bizarre coincidence connecting bin Laden and Pinochet, but, for those who like to smoke the stuff, we recommend to take it easy. We know how this sort of configuration has a way of becoming a rumor, then a conspiracy and, next thing you know, people from all over are swearing by it on the Internet.
Pinochet led a bloody military coup in 1973 that killed scores of people, starting by democratically elected President Salvador Allende, who died literally defending his palace. During Pinochet rule, thousands of Chileans were also killed, or as the euphemism of the era would put it, “disappeared.” The day of such infamy? September 11.

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