Congrats, Jackpot Losers. Now
It’s Time to Become an Astronaut
The Powerball beat all records, but in the end, two people who apparently deserved it beat us all out for the $550 million. Good for them. Seriously, we’re glad they got it and all that, sure.
We had a better shot at something else all along, anyway. Like, becoming a movie star. Or giving birth to quadruples. What about finding a four leaf clover? Come on, don’t be such a sore loser.
You knew you couldn’t possibly have a shot. And your Uncle Bob had already told you to never play these big drawings. After all, he’s always winning a few bucks on those scratch games.
He then crosses the street and loses them all on the races, you may say. But hey, you’ve just lost a few of your own, but are already thinking that today just may be your day to take them all to the cleaners.
If you think of it. all the money you’ve already spent in games throughout your life, would amount to a small fortune by now. Which, of course, you’ve have spent on charity, of course, sure.
The truth is, they keep wiping us clean, and we keep on getting back for more. What can you do? You haven’t come up with a counter-argument to what they say: someone must win it, so why not you, right?
THE ODDS YOU MAKE
You’re too old to apply for International Space Station Commander Sunita Williams‘s position and, let’s face it, you were never good at math, so that should be out. The odds beat are 12,100,000 to 1, by the way.
Movie star? We know it’s your dream, or one of them, but has anyone ever told you that you’ve got the looks? Those who beat the 1,505,000 to 1 odds to become one usually have some kind of looks to boot too.
Ah, so you think that being the U.S. President is easy? Well, besides the 10,000,000 odds of not becoming one, which a poor single-mother black kid happened to have beaten, you really need to be good at what you do.
We’re not trying to deflate your bubble here. After all, every night, at least one person beats 649,740 chances of getting it wrong, with a royal flush on the first hand of poker in Las Vegas. It could as well be you.
Yeah, right. We’re kind of jaded, to put it bluntly, and with our luck, we’d probably be stung to death by a hornet (odds: 6,100,000 to 1) before even learning how to play poker.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
The fact is, perhaps we’re too used to trust that one’s life can be changed overnight, just like that, just like it in the movies. It can, but a million things may easily happen first than that, including your own demise.
Sorry, we didn’t mean to freak you out. But we need to keep things in perspective. Think about how happy we should all be to just wake up, every day, while knowing that one person in 18,000 is being murdered.
Or drowning in a bathtube, which happens to one in every 840,000 souls or even, grasp, losing a part of our body (they’re all important), which happens extremely often: once out of less than five thousand times.
QUICK PICKS, SLIM PICKINGS
So, you should count your blessings, like we never do, to be honest. For every one who succeeds in dating a supermodel, for example, 88,000 get probably beaten senselessly by their bodyguards for only trying.
Looking at the bright side (of an asteroid, for example), people who think our civilization will end when one of them collides with Earth, are slightly misinformed: the odds of dying on its impact are ‘only’ 12,500 to 1.
Thus, as you collect all this plethora of numbers and stats, possibly to skip the machine quick picks and choose your own bets, the lesson here is clear: none of this info will change an iota your human desire to beat the odds and come out a winner.
For those who look at the drawings today and say, what? ‘only’ $12 million? And consider it already spent on their minds, even before purchasing the ticket, we can’t say it too many times: good luck.