A Message Stuffed in the Butt
& Other Breaking Jesus News
At this point, whether Jesus, a.k.a., the Nazarene, – whom two billion call the son of god – has even existed, is beside the point. A busybody for over two millennia, we dare naming J.C., ‘most likely to succeed’ as Fab Fav of all supreme invisible beings out there. (Please don’t curse).
News about the carpenter ran the gamut, this year. Archeologists, fussy about a tomb – his? – and a town, where apostles lived, came up again short of evidence. Just as skeptical scholars can’t say for sure he’s not real. Plus new Jesuses, and of course, the secret stuck in the butt.
But such biased coverage had at least one merit: it counterbalanced the continuous, and malodorous, flood of stories about some D.C. dude, who believes he’s god too. And naturally, the depressing headlines about the world we actually live in, which some call godless, while others, a rich banker’s dream. A time when gods are bankers?
It went beyond that, with the vicious-religious commentary streams on social media. This time, every year, some get noticed that Dec. 25 is Krishna‘s official day of birth too. Regardless that neither may have actually been born then, zealots flip, and curses and expletives ensue.
In truth, if one could even invoke such alien concept when talking about faith, neither Krishna’s history matches the lore, nor a big chunk of Jesus’ own walk on Earth could be ever fact-checked. Some elements are common to these two, and every other deity, however.
But Alas, their myth has lost ground to pretty much everything, including human pettiness. More people don’t care either way. Isis or, blasphemy, the Prophet, it’s all in the eye and heart of beholders, bless be them. Those who can’t trust the immaterial got to be jealous.
THE MESSIAHS NEXT DOOR
Alvaro Theiss was an atheist until his old friend, a voice he’d been hearing in his mind since childhood, told him the ‘truth,’and we paraphrase it: go, and tell them all you’re Jesus. Maybe for originality’s sake, though, his chosen given name is Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum, or INRI for short.
Yes, Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews, read that piece of wood that Pontius Pilate ordered a centurion to slap, half-mockingly, on the cross above Jesus’ head. It was supposed to be a joke, you see, just like the crown of thorns, and in the same humorous vein of that other ‘comedian,’ Adolf H.
INRI calls himself an educator, despite his scarce three years of formal education. He sounds pretty reasonable when speaking. (more)
* Invisible Beings
* Unanswered Prayers
* The 2000-Year-Old Boy