JC, Circa 2017 CE

A Message Stuffed in the Butt
& Other Breaking Jesus News

At this point, whether Jesus, a.k.a., the Nazarene, – whom two billion call the son of god – has even existed, is beside the point. A busybody for over two millennia, we dare naming J.C., ‘most likely to succeed’ as Fab Fav of all supreme invisible beings out there. (Please don’t curse).
News about the carpenter ran the gamut, this year. Archeologists, fussy about a tomb – his? – and a town, where apostles lived, came up again short of evidence. Just as skeptical scholars can’t say for sure he’s not real. Plus new Jesuses, and of course, the secret stuck in the butt.
But such biased coverage had at least one merit: it counterbalanced the continuous, and malodorous, flood of stories about some D.C. dude, who believes he’s god too. And naturally, the depressing headlines about the world we actually live in, which some call godless, while others, a rich banker’s dream. A time when gods are bankers?
It went beyond that, with the vicious-religious commentary streams on social media. This time, every year, some get noticed that Dec. 25 is Krishna‘s official day of birth too. Regardless that neither may have actually been born then, zealots flip, and curses and expletives ensue.
In truth, if one could even invoke such alien concept when talking about faith, neither Krishna’s history matches the lore, nor a big chunk of Jesus’ own walk on Earth could be ever fact-checked. Some elements are common to these two, and every other deity, however.
But Alas, their myth has lost ground to pretty much everything, including human pettiness. More people don’t care either way. Isis or, blasphemy, the Prophet, it’s all in the eye and heart of beholders, bless be them. Those who can’t trust the immaterial got to be jealous.

THE MESSIAHS NEXT DOOR
Alvaro Theiss was an atheist until his old friend, a voice he’d been hearing in his mind since childhood, told him the ‘truth,’and we paraphrase it: go, and tell them all you’re Jesus. Maybe for originality’s sake, though, his chosen given name is Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum, or INRI for short.
Yes, Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews, read that piece of wood that Pontius Pilate ordered a centurion to slap, half-mockingly, on the cross above Jesus’ head. It was supposed to be a joke, you see, just like the crown of thorns, and in the same humorous vein of that other ‘comedian,’ Adolf H.
INRI calls himself an educator, despite his scarce three years of formal education. He sounds pretty reasonable when speaking. (more)
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Read Also:
* Invisible Beings
* Unanswered Prayers
* The 2000-Year-Old Boy
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Bad Dads

When Poor Parenting
Gets Its Own Holiday

By all accounts, he could’ve lived his life as the son of a king, away from this mad world and having the whole universe as his playing pen. Instead, and for little reason, he was stripped of all privileges and sent to do his dad’s bidding in a hostile place where he got killed.
Sunday, 1.7 billion followers will celebrate Jesus’ life, in what looks, but no one admits it, like spite to his dad. But blatant lack of parenting skills is not a God’s monopoly, however. It just follows a long, ancient line of cruelty and child abuse powerful fathers have adopted to advance their own agenda for the world.
Not to pile up on God in such an important week, but doing it anyway, when his son called out for him, while being tortured and about to agonize to death, he was too busy to help. What father wouldn’t take his son’s phone calls in a time of need? Actually, don’t answer that.
Anyway, Jesus wasn’t even the only ‘son’ God had a problem with; remember Abraham? Leaving his own dad to serve the almighty was not good enough: to really prove his absolutely devotion, he had to get rid of his only son, Isaac. And the thing is, Abe almost did it.
There wouldn’t be a Bible today if he’d gone through it. Was God concerned about that when he stopped Abe from committing such an ignominious act? Nah. And despite claiming to love his first born, at the countdown, Abe was ready to plunge that shiny blade into his heart.
For god forbid to disappoint God. When suddenly he changed his mind, he didn’t bother telling the would-be murder; he sent an angel and a lamb to do his bidding. See the pattern? The angel broke the news, while the lamb, well, no lamb ever survived a biblical tale.

SETTING TRAPS ON JUNIOR’S WAY
Some fathers slave through life so to spare their children the misery, but see their legacy treated like an old shoe. Others, either by example or tyranny, turn their kids into duplicates. And the rich and famous are known for spawning spoiled brats, good only to suck up resources.
A few hide what and who they were, to allow their children a chance to find a path of their own. Often after kicking them out, or walking away themselves. These are but a sample of the myriad of experiences for bringing up a child into this world, father and son division.
And yet humankind usually takes their cue from particularly nasty progenitors, who enjoyed throwing son against son, took multiple wives, and demanded total dedication. Pity those closest to them, made to feel less important than the flock at large, easily swayed by arresting sermons and principled lectures.
This is not about dissing out your old man, which surely did the best he could to protect your hide. Most fathers go out of their way to assure their kids’ survival, not because they want to raise a clone, but because they see in them the fragile, vulnerable little boy they once were.

A TEMPLATE FOR MOST RELIGIONS
And yet, it seems almost inevitable that parents will crush their children’s spirit, prevent them for being what they really are, and make sure they’ll remain frightened and emotionally crippled as adults. It’s really a miracle anyone would survive what passes for parenthood.
God loved the world so much that he sent his one and only as a gift to it, said St. John, with misguided awe. Yeah, right. As if this valley of bloody tears was a garden of delights. For if he loved it so much, why couldn’t he come over himself? Or make it a lot better to begin with?
There are many altruistic stories about fathers and sons, tales of heroism, life-affirming accounts of benevolence and love. Myths that sourced most religions, however, are not about them. But given billions of believers, it’s undeniable that something about them clicks.
The myth of Christianity, for instance, from the humble birth to a virgin, in the manger, to becoming a living god, to martyrdom and resurrection, is not even original. There are several accounts of divinities that predated Jesus, born in the same circumstances, and even day of the year.
THE BOY THAT COULDN’T LIVE
Which means originality is overrated; the same idea had been tried before, apparently to public acclaim. Henry and John, another father and son account, seems to have much less takers. The fact that it appeals to us may explain why it’s a good thing we didn’t get into the business of founding a religion: no one would follow it.
In 1606, while searching for the Northwest passage, British navigator Henry Hudson discovered Manhattan, ‘the island at the center of the world‘ that birthed New York. To accompany him, he brought one of his sons, John, and left behind brothers Richard and Oliver.
It was a fateful decision that may’ve caused a ruckus among the boys, and followed the same pattern referred to above. Parents do play favorites, and no platitudes about fairness prevail when it comes down to it. And it did come down. Badly.
The discovery is celebrated as pivotal to the Enlightenment Era and all that came after. But it was the end to Henry and John. (more)
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Read Also:
* Invisible Beings
* The 2000-Year Old
* Founding Fathers

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Born on Christmas

Another Event to
Top Birth of Jesus

It was 20 years ago this Christmas when the first communication was successfully established between a web browser and a server via the Internet. That became Page 1 for what’s now a mega-virtual 13.99 billion-page book as of yesterday. So Happy Birthday, World Wide Web.
Besides Krishna, Mithra, Horus, Budda, Quetzacoatl and even Hercules, all Christ-like figures whose birthdays are celebrated along with Christianity, you may now add the Internet, which is fastest becoming what The Beatles were for a brief moment, more popular than Jesus Christ.
As with all the above, the whole history of such momentous creation is yet to be completed. They all have fuzzy stories and paternity myths, and literature about it abound. Suffice to say Continue reading