Hell Holds No Pets

Meet Some of My
New York Friends

Paraphrasing Mario Puzo, keep your friends close, and the friends of your friends, closer. He may’ve known a thing or two about family sagas, but as far as animals are concerned, not so much. In fact, most of us wouldn’t flinch about harming a pet, even if Hollywood had an offer we couldn’t refuse.
Gentle beasts, they earn from us more than we could ever give friends, lovers, and relatives. So let me introduce you to a few of my acquaintances’ cats, and one tender dog, in the company of whom I satisfy my fix, and sense of loss, since mine left me long ago and I’ve run out of time to outlast new ones.
Life gives us no choice: once time comes, we leave it all behind. Which is fine. But unlike sons and daughters, there’s no telling them, now, go get your own place and pets to tend to. Once you’re together, you’re down for the long, or short, run, or whenever one of you checks out. Try to not to be the first.
For the accidental petsitter like me, it’s always clear which one of us is the needier, and who’s actually providing existential relief. Just like it was when they adopted us. So I tackle my duties like a priest sets up the altar for a mass: everything has to be carefully arranged to assure a safe trip to heaven for all involved.
Things usually follow a natural path, from wearily seizing each other’s out, to lending a tad of trust to the proceedings, to the time when it gets to be all fun and games. Such a progression may seem casual to the untrained eye, but let’s not let looks deceive us. For in the end, we may all feel better for having shared those moments together.

OLD SCHOOL & THE INTERLOPER
Ziggy was once the new kid on the block, but was never as big as his elder brother, who’s left us. When he finally got his shot at the top, KittyKat showed up and won everybody’s heart. Soon, he grew bigger and is now the dominant dude. Ziggy is right to be bitter.
Two beautiful Coons, they’ve got ways to go to get along, if they’ll ever. Most likely, Ziggy will keep on being cranky, despite such a Reggae name, while Kitty gets away with mayhem. And some dare to say that cats have it easy. Life has no patience for fairness. I love these two.

THE MAJESTIC QUEEN GRACIE
There are not enough superlatives to describe this lady, and to keep it simple doesn’t do her justice either. The thing about striking a feline-like balance when writing about a cat proves us how inadequate is our own sense of balance. And how poor. That’s not Gracie at all.
It took me a while to show her I was at her service. For she’d never demand anything. But when she finally vocalized her state of mind, I understood it perfectly. Many a silent sunset we’ve enjoyed together, as I dabbled in her generous name-sake mood. Everything about her speaks of harmony. I look forward to indulge her light again soon.

BIRDIE & SQUIRT, TWIN SHADOWS
These two could be spies, and I swear they like to play doubles. Just when I thought I knew which is which, they’ve proved me wrong. Twice. I’m sure at least one of them flies, when no one is looking. Then again, to wonder what cats do when we’re not around is like trying to build walls of shade. I think they can read my mind too.
Once I dozed off and just before I came to, I had this vivid impression they were staring at my reverie. But when I’ve opened my eyes, neither Birdie nor Squirt were anywhere to be seen. I’m sure they know something about me I don’t dare to imagine what. Next time, I’ll wear a disguise.

LULU TRAPEZIST & PRINCESS FURBALL
Lulu is the girl next door, who flirts with the string I flicker in front of her paws, and then disappears in the back. Princess came after, her beautiful fur covering up her round body. While she hardly moves, Lulu entertains dogs of all sizes. They both live in a pet store, you see.
Lulu‘s the one I seek when I need a quick cat fix. She won’t let (more)
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Read Also:
* Head Tails
* Ailurophile Caturally
* Suddenly, Last Caturday
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Business Advisory

Learning Tips From
Two Fictional Heroes

Super-heroes fulfill many needs that we may lack or don’t come easily through our prosaic existence, with their moral and physical strengths and altruistic dedication to better other people’s lives. Above all, we’re captivated when they beat the hell out of bad guys, save the girl in peril and blow stuff up.
Their personal narratives can also teach us a thing or two about the world of business and the leadership qualities necessary to succeed in it, according to writers Nattyb and Alex Knapp, who see valuable lessons from the lives of, respectively, billionaire Bruce Wayne, crime-fighting Batman’s secret identity, and the intergalactic U.S.S. Enterprise Starship’s Captain James T. Kirk.
It turns out, behind the adventures of these two beloved fictional heroes, there’s a whole sense of ethics and purpose that guides them through very hairy situations without a scratch on their moral rectitude. We can’t emulate their extraordinary accomplishments, but we may indeed learn how they do what they do to remain perennial lighthouses to our own paths. It also helps that neither has superpowers.
A lot of this imagined workbook of tips and practical advice for the business novice could’ve also been gathered from the bag of tricks of any successful entrepreneur in the real world, from Steve Jobs, to Warren Buffett, to Bill Gates, to Richard Branson, to that guy your own kid thinks you are. Plus, of course, exquisite costumes and a box full of wonderful toys.
The idea though, without over-psychoanalyzing the power of heroes, fairy tales and all that, is to show that anyone can don a cape, or TV makeup, and make believe they’re destined to save mankind from its wrong ways. At the end of the day, though, what few do manage to accomplish is to imprint the world with their humanity, with their Continue reading

Amish Anguish

A Discreet Community Gets
Its Fair Share of Silly News

The Amish, that pious group founded in the 1600s, are known for simple living, plain clothing, and aversion to the conveniences of technology, according to Wikipedia. They are also very particular about facial hair styles. Just ask the Brothers Mullet.
A couple of weeks ago, the Ohio police arrested Johnny and Lester Mullet, plus their friends, Levi and Lester Miller (we swear, we’re not making this stuff up). The charge: kidnapping and burglary, which is very much out of character for a group with such a guarded reputation, if you’d ask us. But we’re glad you didn’t.
FACIAL HAIR ENFORCEMENT
That’s because, what’s behind those charges is way more embarrassing to old Sam, the patriarch father of the Mullet brothers, than being associated with the name of a ridiculous 1980s hairstyle Continue reading