You’re probably feeling very good about yourself right now. After all, you’ve proved them all wrong, and you’re still alive and kicking, despite all dire predictions about the world coming to a final blast today. Well, our word to you would be caution; you’re not out of the woods yet. Since you’ve probably read about what was supposed to have happened today, the Mayan calendar and what not, we’ll spare you from going over that venue again. Instead, let’s make sure you know what you haven’t yet, unfortunately, ducked, and, albeit unlikely, can still hit you.
Hey, we’re just counterbalancing the annoying cheerful wave that will undoubtedly grace today’s news. We’re, as you know, funny that way: first we tend to periodically create these completely baseless widespread fears, to which we add a steady diet of bad news, day in and day out, just to make everyone feel like dirt.
Then, when all seems to be about to burst into a planetary bummer, we conveniently stand down, invoking some kind of glitch, or blaming it all on the hyperactive imagination of some nut preaching on the desert somewhere. But we still tell you that you should consider yourself lucky, for what could’ve been.
Needless to say, fortunes are made or broken that way. All over the world, people have given up everything in exchange for the comfort of following someone else’s vision toward the impending doom. In fact, according to Isaac Asimov, an Assyrian clay tablet of circa 2800 BCE was already warning everyone ‘that the world is speedily coming to an end.’
The only reason such gloomy type of predictions have become hard currency may be that we now waste even more time paying attention to them. Or see more reasons to do so, whichever rocks the boat of your next garden-variety cult leader, seeking validation to his or her deranged delusions of grandeur.
As for us, this whole brouhaha never mattered. When the pastor came Continue reading →
2012? If Doomsday Does Come, 2040 May Be a Much Better Year
The supposed end of the Maya Calendar, said by some to be a sure bet that the world will end Dec. 21 of this year, has predictably attracted the wide array of messianic nuts and opportunistic religious leaders with but one thing in their minds: to pick your pockets. They shouldn’t bother trying to find signs, in some flawed translation of a pre-written language era, of what they clearly revel in declaring that it’s all your fault. That’s because science has already plenty of possible (useless) explanations for the causes of our eventual doomsday. Chief among them are asteroids, those high-speed rocks that periodically seem to get our address in space right, and grant us with a catastrophic visit. Doom, thy name is 2011 AG5, which, if astronomers’ are right, has some pretty good odds of hitting us mid-sentence.
But if it seems that they’ve been more frequent lately, that’s just an illusion. For even though our ability to detect and tract the big bad ones is still unreliable and spotted at best, we are catching more and more of them in the act of conspiring against our civilization.
Still, we have been very lucky indeed: those that have managed to trick our watch and get close, so far, have all missed us, thank goodness. Continue reading →
Religion and scientific inquiry were bred out of our compulsion to explain the world. Whereas science challenges dogma and welcomes questioning, faith thrives when reason fails. Fortunately, neither is relevant at this moment. Or necessary when you’re having a laugh.
So when an Australian reporter came upon a piece of wood laying on top of an Antarctic iceberg, miles from nowhere, someone suggested it was a take on the black monolith Stanley Kubrick used in his “2001 – A Space Odissey” to illustrate mankind’s progress.
A coffin. A door to a magical world. Debris from a shipwreck. Or a rudimentary penguin surfboard were some of the theories Continue reading →