Coll Dennis

Those Missing Boats (Excerpt)

Scene 1 opens on five kids

(Jack, Coll, Tyrese, Jesus and Ville)

at a pizza place in downtown New York.


Coll: “Mmm good pizza here, huh?

Ville: Great, it’s been a long time since we got to eat here.

Jesus: Especially together like this. I love Saturday nights with you guys.

Jack: Best part, we could stay out as long as we want!

Tyrese: True, nobody to tell us what to do. (He takes advertisement for free bowling at 300 out of his pocket and drops it on the middle of the table)

Coll: What’s that? (Picks up advertisement)

Tyrese: That right there is a coupon for free bowling every Saturday night at 300. They had a lottery and I won!

Ville: Well that’s good for you.

Tyrese: Well, y’all wanna go?

Jack: Now?

Tyrese: Up to you guys. I can go any other Saturday this summer.

(Coll takes newspaper from the top of the counter, pays for his food and sits back down. A look of surprise hits his face followed by a look of worry ness)

Coll: Did you guys hear about this?! A chain of boat wrecks continues to happen from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean to fifty miles away from New York! They are trying to find the cause of this but so far it seems every boat or plane the tried has been missing!

Jack: Wow really?

Coll: Yup.

Jesus: Sounds bad.

Tyrese: So you guys wanna go or not?

Jack, Ville, Coll and Jesus: Sure.

Scene 2 (The boys at the bowling alley)

(They walk up to the counter)

Tyrese: Hi, five boys for bowling please.

Cashier, do you have the club card?

(While Tyrese checks in, Jack comes up to Coll.)

Jack: Hey man.

Coll: Hey what’s up?

(Jack grabs newspaper and turns back to Coll)

Jack: Fifty miles from New York huh? ‘cause this is yesterday’s issue and fifty miles is pretty close right? (While putting on bowling shoes)

Coll: What are you trying to say dude? (Suddenly gets a curio look)

Jack: Well we’re right on the river right? Maybe, just maybe whatever destroyed those boats wasn’t just a freak accident. Maybe something did it that; it wasn’t just an oil spill and a spark.

Coll: First of all, if anything came, IF anything came, it would come through the East River and we’re on the Hudson. Second, that sounds so paranoid! I mean, not to insult you but you watch too many horror flicks. They’ll find out the cause soon enough and then we’ll all stop worrying all right?

Jack: All right dude. Just putting it out there.

*

The Letter

Emma and her sister Drudy lived together. Drudy would cook and Emma would clean.
One day Drudy decided to go to Ohio on vacation. The day after she got there, she got sick and died.
Gloomy Emma checked her mailbox. It had one letter. Emma opened it. It said:
“Dear Emma, how’s everything going? The strangest thing happened. I woke up and I was in a coffin. And now everyone is running away from me. It’s like I died. Well, I’m sure it’s nothing. Love, Drudy.”
*
I ate pizza.
I drank water.
I like ice cream.
I brush my teeth.
The bird went poop.
I like dogs.
My dad is 52.
I have a rash.
The bug is dead.
I am upset now.
Dad killed the cockroach.
*
Ok, today I was on the train going home. We finally got home and dad said: “I got something for you on the kitchen counter under my belt.”I looked under his belt and saw tickets to see The Dark Knight IMAX 3D!
*
A man ate a clock and burped tick-tock. He X-rayed himself. It was 3:30 am.
*
#1 Deep down I have to talk._
#2 Talking is good for you,it makes your jaw strong._
#3 If I talk, it’s not quiet.

One thought on “Coll Dennis

  1. Luiz Peixe says:

    Traduz pra ele: “quem sai aos seus não degenera”.
    Nice cuts!!!!!!!!

    Like

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