Purring Me Loudly

Smoke Gets
In Your Ears

She’s a 12-year old, she’s kinda small, and the picture of her round tabby face is making the rounds for all to see. That’s because when she purrs, she thunders. It actually sounds as loud as a 737 coming at you from a mile away. Seriously, people measure these things.
Now Smokey may purr all the way to the Guinness Book of Records. To give you an idea of how loud she sounds, most cats purr in the 25 decibels range, while she clocks at up to 90 decibels easy, regardless whether she’s eating, dreaming or just happy to see you.
But before you get all fuzzy and fluffy with such cute, vocally enhanced little creature, just imagine her living next door to your cramped New York City apartment. Picture her getting all excited at, say 4 o’clock in the morning, and you’ll know that it may be nice to have her by your side but perhaps not purring all the time.
Or so think her human companions, Ruth and Mark Adams, who may have entertained once or twice slaughtering the sweet thing with no shame, specially when she drowned the sound of their favorite (and forever running) “8 Out of 10 Cats” show. Who can blame them, besides you and you and us and, oh, just forget it.
The fact remains though that we wouldn’t ever hear or care about Ruth and Mark, hadn’t been for the cat with the purr of an airliner. And if their names do make it to the Guinness book, let’s just hope they’ll show some appreciation. Because if not, there won’t be lack of candidates to cross them, we’re almost sure.
As for Smokey, all she ever wanted is what these little furry things always want: to be fed and to be loved, either silently or at 90 decibels a minute.
So it sounds a little like a lawnmower or a hair dryer, so what? We don’t often hear neighbors complaining when you decide to spend some juice getting your rug in shape or wowing them with the quality of your grass, now do we?
So let’s put to bed all this nonsense about she being “difficult,” shall we? Lest not create an odious, unforgivable backlash against such a distinguished and honorable being. In other words, let’s cut the crap and give me something to eat before I purr you to death. Time to cue in some “gaily laughter” now.

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